Observations

Friday, March 9, 2012

Zack Ryder and Eve: Wrestlemania 28

RAW, March 12

Zack feels blown away by Eve's kiss from the previous week. Josh Matthews interviews him and implies that Zack can't be THAT foolish to fall for the kiss. Eve is up to no good! But Ryder is sold. He's in love again. All is forgiven.

Cena confronts Ryder and says he's glad they're friends again, but feels like Ryder is being foolish. Ryder says Cena is wrong and he's planning something HUGE. It might be rushed. It might be wrong. But damn it, broski, it just feels right!

Rumors reach Eve, who smiles maliciously. She can milk this and ride his career straight to the top. 

RAW, March 19

Eve overhears some WWE Executives (who were there on business revolving around Laurinaitis and Teddy Long) talking about how Zack Ryder is a star in the making! 

Ryder tells Eve he has something big planned for WM28 but he's afraid he's moving too quickly. They need to spend some time together and get to know one another. Eve agrees. She apologizes for her earlier actions and says that's not who she really is and simply got caught up in the moment. Ryder believes her. 

Lawler tells Ryder that he should be careful—he's fallen for a woman before who wanted nothing more than to take advantage and ride coattails. Ryder lashes out and tells Lawler he's wrong and should stay out of this!

RAW, March 26

Eve and Ryder go out for dinner. They go to a fancy restaurant and spend some time getting to know one another. Ryder tells Eve people are telling him not to rush into things, but he's in love. 

At one point, Ryder excuses himself to use the bathroom and Eve rolls her eyes and says, "What a loser."

After dinner, they head back to the arena. A match has just ended and the winner is still celebrating when Zack Ryder hits the ring. He calls out Eve and tells her that he can't wait another second.

"Eve, will you marry me?"

"Yes."

Wrestlemania 28

A small wedding chapel is rolled out in the center of the Wrestlemania 28 stage. 

Zack Ryder comes to the ring in a tuxedo. The crowd boos, because they think he's making a mistake.

Ryder tells Eve how beautiful she looks. He's sweating. Eve hugs him. Brother Love plans to marry the couple, but first, Zack has a few words …

Ryder speaks about how he fell in love with Eve months ago and, as in all relationships, they might have hit a little turbulence, but the skies have cleared and the future looks bright. 

Without further ado, Brother Love begins the ceremony. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here tonight in Miami, Florida on April 1st, 2012 to witness the joining of two lives. Eve Torres, do you take Zack Ryder to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to told from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do you part?"

Eve: "I do."

"And Zack, do you take Eve to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to told from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do you part?"

The crowd roars with boos. A "Hoeski" chant breaks out. Eve tries to remain composed. 

Zack finally speaks: "I do."

Brother Love: "Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and w--"

Ryder: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up! Wait a second. Broski Love, WHAT'D you say the date is?!"

Brother Love: "April 1st."

Ryder cracks a mischievous grin -- the crowd roars. Ryder turns slowly to Eve and then says, "Eve, baby! APRIL FOOLS! We all know you can't turn a hoeski into a housewife! WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT."