TRAPPED

I was trapped in an elevator once. I was going out for dinner with some family friends. We were starving. You know that scene in You’ve Got Mail (shut up, you know you’ve seen it) where Joe Fox (“F-O-X”) and his neighbors are stuck in the elevator and they’re doing that whole if I ever get outta’ here thing? That was us, except we were thinking about what we’d order ...

I’ve yet to be stuck in an elevator again. I don’t want to be stuck in an elevator … but if it happened, I would hope it’d be the time I was coming back with some delicious Chipotle or a burger from that burger place I like so much in New York City. That wouldn’t be so bad. Or with a deliveryman from a pizza place or a Chinese restaurant. They always put plastic forks in the bags, so we’d be good.

But there’s the possibility that the deliveryman has a 100% successful delivery rate and refuses to eat the food. I’d offer to pay for it, of course, but with a 100% successful delivery rate, I doubt that’d matter. Would I tip him? After all, I didn't actually place the order. I imagine that the family who ordered Chinese food or pizza would want us to eat their food if they knew we were stuck in an elevator possibly starving to death.

I just hope I never get stuck in an elevator when I have to pee, because deliverymen don’t carry empty water bottles.  

A Short Story

There was this guy and his boss and let's just say they didn’t get along. One day this guy goes to Chipotle for lunch. The line was crazy. He groaned, looked at his watch, and tried to estimate how long he'd have to wait.  Just as he decided to join the line, someone shouted his name!

He scanned the endless crowd until he saw a familiar face at the front of the line. His boss! His boss winked and called out, "What took you so long? I've been waiting for you!" Didn't take long for this guy to realize what was going on ... He joined his boss, shook his hand, and apologized for his tardiness. "Traffic, you know?"

They conversed as they placed and paid for their respective orders and then parted ways. I know what you're thinking —they became good pals.

You’d be wrong. A week later, the guy was fired.

Still though, the guy appreciated his former boss' gesture in letting him escape the long line at Chipotle.

A month later, the guy was standing near the front of another long Chipotle line. A beautiful woman entered. She took in the line and looked at her watch—just as he had done a month ago! He knew she did not have time to wait. A second before she turned to exit, their eyes met.

"Hey," he called out. He waved and she looked at him. Who is that guy, she thought? He winked and said, "I've been waiting for you! What took you so long?" She smiled, walked over to the guy, threw her arms around him and apologized. "Traffic, you know?"