Wrong Number

No one really dials a number anymore. Either you take advantage of speed dial or you comb through your phone book and select the friend you wish to call.

With all the advances in technology that makes many things, like placing a phone call, so effortless (who remembers phone numbers?), one should take extra precaution when physically dialing a number … especially at five a.m.

I can imagine a few scenarios where one would need to call someone at such an hour. A death in the family, husband or child didn’t come home—all stressful occurrences, which might lead one to dial in a panic.

But, please pay attention, because I don’t know you, “Hamilton, Geoff” from (614). And I’m sleeping. 

Making Lists

I make lists the old-fashioned way. On paper. I don’t have an iPhone, which means I don’t have Siri. I suppose I could use the memo pad on my not-as-fancy Smart Phone, but then I’d have to remind myself to check my reminder notes.

One of two things always ends up happening. I either forget the piece of paper at home or I forget that I have it on me until I get home and empty my pockets.

This makes going to the grocery store a hassle. The usual things—like time constraints, long lines, or annoying people who park in the center of the aisle and don't hear me say “Excuse me”—don’t bother me (as much) as always forgetting the one thing I absolutely needed just as I pull out of the parking lot.

Son of a bitch! Toilet Paper!